1. |
Conflicted Feelings
05:03
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I specifically remember that time - end of July, driving down 95 in a car with all my best friends
inside. To my surprise, the day ended with two hospital beds, and an overpriced ambulance ride.
I used to wake up early and see, all the music videos on my TV every morning I was humming
and singing songs like "Sugar We're Going Down Swinging". Truth is life was better then, less
overhead, but less cash to spend, truth is I just miss my friends. I can't remember all the faces
of the people I used to know, friends I called from back home. I'm now blind where I once
could see, and if they saw my face they wouldn't recognize me. Growing up seemed easier in
the movies, sitting on my shelf in their own place. They know who they are and who they're
meant to be; (That's a lot more than I can say for myself). Cause honestly I just miss my home.
Give me four walls, something to call my own. Honestly I just don't know where to go...
I can't remember all the faces of the people I used to know, friends I called from back home.
I'm now blind where I once could see, and if they saw my face they wouldn't recognize me.
There was a whole month, when I road the couch, watching Netflix and feeling sorry for myself.
There was a whole month, when I didn't go outside; wishing I could stay in this house for the
rest of my life.
I can't remember all the faces of the people I used to know, friends that I called from back home.
I'm now blind where I once could see, and if they saw my face they wouldn't recognize me.
I don't recognize this man in the mirror, if I could see any clearer I'd still be blind. A lot can
happen in two years time, and unfortunately, I got left behind...
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2. |
An Apology
03:10
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Dress for the weather, whether or not it’s the best. I’m on my way over, cause I’ve got
something to get off my chest. I’m finding comfort in the things I hate. Man, I think I’m losing
feeling, or maybe it’s just late. Because I moved to Richmond, left you at home. Though I know
you’re changing, I just think I have more. And as much as I love you, I cant keep these
appearances up. I’m being left behind. My time here is up. Dress for the weather, whether or
not it’s the best. I’m on my way over, cause I’ve got something to get off my chest.
I almost cried today, on the phone with my dad I was so happy that I was finally upset.
How fucked is that?
I didn’t shed one tear when you tried to kill yourself.
Or when Chloe said she was gonna leave.
I guess I don’t feel that much these days. I’m sorry.
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3. |
Left/Leaving
03:54
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I want to be alone, but not feel alone. And right now I'm too set on being angry to even think that
this is home. I guess I just accept things, and don’t let affect me. And I’ve spent so much of this
year just thinking about leaving. But I'd gonna miss the hell out of Chloe and Reba, and all these
other dorks. I'm crying as I write this, and I can’t seem to sleep this off. I heard late last night,
that one of my old friends died. My breaths are sharp, but I'm hoping it doesn’t last. I'm not
giving up but I guess I’m gonna die sometime, so I’ll make the most of it now. I’m making peace
with that and it’ll be the only thing I’m okay with when it comes around. Lets hope it goes down
how I plan, just exactly as I write it down.With some shit that is elegant, things that are way too
extravagant. Maybe if I plan it out, and make a promise that is how it wont happen, at least not
any time soon. Cause I’d miss the hell out of Chloe and Reba, and all my friends in Pennsylvania
And everyone from Richmond, so it better not happen. Cause I’d miss the hell out of Chloe and
Reba, and all my friends in Pennsylvania, and everyone from Richmond
So it better not happen.
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